When hopes come crashing down...

Today didn't go so well, sigh.
Haven't been this depressed since a very long time.

Initially, my mum had the idea of coming in Feb
to see me and spend some time with me
since it was my 21st birthday + CNY
I was really, really, really excited
spending days and nights thinking of it
and couldn't wait for Feb to come.

I even handdrew and coloured a CNY sign
and stuck it on my door two weeks ago,
immediately after Christmas was over
replacing the candy cane that was there for Christmas.

what the heck, I don't even buy,
much less make a sign like this back home.

But now,
I just feel like tearing that down
so I'll never see it again and be reminded
of the fact that it didn't work out
and my mom decided not to come after all.

Awesome, 2010.
The year that I'm halfway across the planet from home,
is the year everything clashes.
What's more, on a Sunday, when everyone is free
and available for celebration.

So much for celebration.
Sigh.

I really miss my family :'(


Lord, guide me,
Calm this anguish within me
Extinguish this frustration
and lift me above all this.
Amen.